Friday, March 7, 2014

Building a life, brick by brick.

What has the Melodious one been up to? Well, not too much. Enjoying the warmer weather, getting things done around the house and just generally not trying to cause any mayhem or destruction.

It would seem as though my skills in the realm of construction are once again needed. Besides helping my close sister Rachael, I had an interesting phone call tonight about somebody from my past life who needs a hand.

On my way to dinner with Melissa, the phone rang and I didn't recognize the number. Local area code and I just figured it was somebody calling about a new yard for me to do or somebody wanting a quote, so I answered. It turns out that it was somebody who I have done yard work for in the past but never met face to face. His fiance at the time was who I was doing the yard work for. I think they are married now. He told me who he was, still calling me by my old name, and that he was looking for me, or anybody else that I knew that could read a tape measure. I told him that I was fully able to. 5+ years of doing construction in a former life has it's rewards. He said that he is a co owner of a small construction company and that they are behind on a job that has to be framed up by this coming Tuesday night. I told him I could come and help. This is somebody from my past who knows nothing about my transition. I told him I'd contact him later on to discuss more about what he needed.

After dinner, I went back home and made the phone call. I didn't know how he would react to me but I knew, from they way he was speaking, that they really needed some serious help in a pinch to meet the deadline they had. Not fully knowing for sure what to say I carried along. Sometimes, I've found, when we have to talk to somebody on the spot about things like this, words seem to flow better and the general idea is brought across a little bit more effectively. I prefer a more in depth discussion most of the time, but in a pinch, this works.

I told him that since he and I had talked last, I had undergone great changes in my life. I began telling him about my transition and that I'm now legally female. To my surprise, he was very understanding, again fulfilling my theory of how people react to us that I have called "Melody's Theory of Acceptance". We get so scared about how people may react or what they may say that we are actually shocked when they fully understand and accept us for who we are. I've seen this and heard about this so many different times from so many different people.

We talked for a bit about why I am this way and my struggles through life and the huge depression I had because of it and how I was able to seek help and have now become the person I always should have been from birth. I didn't go into much detail at all, this was only the Cliff Notes version, but he is very accepting now. So much so, that he told me if anybody starting talking bad about me and who I am, or started talking about me behind my back, that he would fire them on the spot. The company he is co owner of is fairly small, I believe. They do not tolerate discrimination and he wants to make sure I feel good and am able to help them with the job that needs to be done. I'm very grateful for that.

At times, I view being fired on the spot as a little harsh, but when you really boil it down, you see that discrimination is a form of abuse, weather it's mental or physical, or both. It's very hurtful to the receiving end of the deal and it hurts more than people can imagine. Discrimination, in any form, causes depression, anxiety, and even in some cases, suicidal thoughts. I know I wouldn't want to be doing nothing but my job all day and having people talk about about me, even behind my back. People have done that all my life, so I'm used to it, but I've gotten to the point in my life where I just don't take it anymore. I figure that if you have the guts to say something bad about me, it should be done to my face, or don't say anything bad at all.

He and I discussed the job at hand that needs to be done and he told me when I needed to be there and where it was. Apparently I'll be helping him by cutting steel studs for walls, something I've done before, albeit almost 10 years ago. Will be no problem at all. Told him I was fully capable of anything he set before me to do. That fact he really liked. I also admire somebody's willingness to work, and work hard. Honest pay for an honest day.

In the process of our discussion, we talked about how my business has grown and that I'm so very proud of how many yards I have and that I've desired to do well for a long time. He was amazed at how well I'm doing. Has taken me a little while to get to this point, but I'm so very glad I am where I am today. I can also faithfully say that about my life too. So very glad to be where I am. The people I know and interact with are truly remarkable. Such a joy to wake up every day and know that I'm on the right track.

Not wanting to keep him on the phone all night talking, we discussed a few more details about the job and he thanked me so very much for helping out and being there when they need it. They will only need me for a couple of days, just long enough to get this job caught up, then I'll be back to being electrician girl and proud owner of my lawn care company. There is always the possibility that he will need me in the future so I must shine as bright as I can so he will know where to turn if the need for help arises again.

It's a great strength and joy of mine to be able to help anybody, whenever I can. It's even more of a bonus when they accept me for who I am and know that it won't affect my job or performance in any way.

Monday I was going to work on preparations in the back yard to move the shed where it needs to go here at home, but the opportunity to help somebody, and to make a little extra money at the same time, is way too good to just pass up. The shed will get moved, just a few days later. All good things in time. Helping somebody is way more important, the money just happens to be a good bonus.

Don't ever sell yourself short on anything. Be strong and courageous in everything you do. People will see your light and they are drawn to it. Reach for the moon and aim for the stars. If you believe you can do something, you will be able to do it.

The lesson in all of this is that we need to have confidence, in everything. Not just in who we are, but in all that we do. I had the confidence to talk to this person tonight, mainly because it had to be done, but also I felt that I didn't want to hide anything at all. He also thanked me for letting him know about me. I'm sure he will have questions, but I will be there to have as many answers as I can. Will be such a wonderful feeling to be viewed as just be another girl when I start this side job. I'm viewed as just another girl every where I go now, but it's still special to be in a man's world and to let them know that a girl can do things just as good as they can. This will be interesting, to say the least. :)

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